Centennial Regatta!

I am going to be on the K-FOR corporate rowing team!  No, I've never rowed before and I don't work for K-FOR.  My friend, Stacey, asked if I wanted to join since they lost several members (that actually did work for K-FOR).  I'm excited since I've always thought rowing looked fun.  Now I get free lessons and lots of practice with actual coaches    We compete in the 500 meter corporate challenge as part of the Centennial Regatta Festival opening ceremonies on Thursday, October 11th.  Ya'll can come watch me smoke the competition.  The actual race will take about 3 minutes; finding parking and getting there will only take 30 minutes!  I'll try to update Xanga on my progression to championship rower. 

Nothing

I'm not sure about my job; maybe I'll never really like any job I ever have.  As of today I have spoken with my boss, Linda, zero times about how I'm doing, but we've spoken five times about what she should get as a group gift for Heather's (my only co-worker in Oklahoma) baby shower.  I had scheduled a call with my boss on Monday, February 5th to talk about how I'm doing, marketing ideas and budget, etc.  I call her at the scheduled time and no answer.  On Thursday, February 8th while Linda and Heather were discussing baby gifts (again), Linda asked Heather to ask me if we could reschedule the conversation.  Hmmm.... I kind of figured it was rescheduled since it was 3 days later!!!  And of course now it is 2 weeks later and still we haven't had a chat.  I think I might just be a whiner.  I thought I was a good worker, but now I'm starting to think I'm lazy or not very business minded.  Maybe I should have worked for the government. 

Never though I would recommend a Kevin Federline product...

I was feeling extremely frustrated today.  After moving the closing date 4 times, the potential buyers for our house in Texas didn't qualify for a loan.  So we get their earnest money, which will cover January's house payment and most of the work we had to do for them, but now we are back on the market.  Just when I thought nothing could cheer me up, I watched the Kevin Federline Nationwide commercial at: http://www.nationwide.com/nw/featured-ads/index.htm select "Rollin' VIP."  I couldn't stop laughing.  Maybe I just really needed the laugh. 

Currently Reading The Souls of Black Folk (Dover Thrift Editions) By W. E. B. Du Bois see related

Ingenious

I normally don't forward e-mails, even at the threat of losing all my luck for the next 7.35 years, but this e-mail was so hilarious that I must share.  Is it true that these excerpts are from actual high school essays?  I don't know, but they should still make you laugh unless you are a.... oh forget it, I won't even be able to get close to these. 

Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their
collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school
essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of
teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners.....

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides
gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a
guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of
those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse
without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge
at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag
filled with vegetable soup.


11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.


12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.


13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
fry them in hot grease.


14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.


15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.


16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.


17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the
East River.


18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only
one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.


19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.


20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
this plan just might work.


21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
eating for a while.


22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either,
but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land
mine or something.


23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.


24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
power tools.


25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as
if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Currently Listening Comfort Eagle By Cake 6 - Arco Arena (great instrumental) see related

Buy This House!

Woo Hoo We finally got our house on the market here, which means most of our major projects are over.  I only need to shampoo the stairs (ick) and our bedroom!  Plus Jon & I are sewing up a hot tub cover using insulated foam sewn in between 2 heavy duty, waterproof, outdoor tarps.  It looks pretty good and will cost about a fourth of the amount to buy a cover, but sewing through heavy fabric with fishing line and humongous needles is kind of tricky. 

Check out our listing at http://idx.actris.marketlinx.com enter MLS #5850201.  When I look at it, I can't believe we are moving away from here, but the draw of Sooner Football was just too great to resist. 

Our realtor, who is also my best Texas friend, said that she is reading a book about positive thinking.  In the section about selling your home, the author suggests mentally picturing the buyers that are ready to come make an offer on your home.  This is supposed to draw buyers in via positive energy, I think.  I'm trying it, but my natural cynicism is getting in the way.  She's bringing me the book to read tomorrow.  Once I've seen it in print, maybe I'll get it. 

P.S. for the Rhodes:   I think there is a thing called social security theft and all I'm trying to say is that that is scary.  I mean just think!  Someone could take your social security and you don't really talk to them in that way.